Saturday, September 03, 2005

Blue Flypaper Idea: Appoint John Edwards to Head Katrina Relief Effort!


Top Reasons to appoint John Edwards to head the Katrina relief effort:

1. Experience: Served a full-term as Senator.
2. Analysis: No one better to determine which deep pockets should take the blame.
3. Fluency: Can talk to people in the South.
4. Motivation: knows if he does a good job he's a shoo-in for Democratic nomination in 2008.
5. Connections: Can coordinate the activities of the mass tort lawyers scrambling for clients.
6. Entitlement: Knows that if election hadn't been stolen he'd be the VP on the scene.
7. Respect: His well-documented good looks earn him the admiration and respect of the hungry and dying.

Come on George, do your job and appoint John Edwards as relief czar.

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32 Comments:

At 10:16 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Makes sense to me. He'd do a great job and he's hot!

 
At 10:32 AM, Blogger Cowgirl said...

This is a joke, right?

 
At 10:43 AM, Anonymous LAT-Fan said...

I can think of a few others too. The point is that Edwards is great and it would solve so many problems if there was one great man at the top to pull it all together. Edwards is a great choice, Ted Kennedy could do it too.

 
At 10:46 AM, Anonymous Bill said...

Oh, I thought you meant the guy from Crossing Over who talks to ghosts...

 
At 10:55 AM, Anonymous foreign devil said...

Kennedy? Are you serious? We'd have to rescue him!

 
At 11:21 AM, Blogger Brad said...

I think the part about organizing the tort lawyers is the most important point. After all, this disaster offers a great opportunity to force a massive redistribution of wealth through the courts. Since we missed our chance to reorganize society through a mass revolt, like Russia did, we need to sieze the moment with mass law suits!

 
At 12:35 PM, Blogger True Blue said...

Brad, that is an excellent suggestion!

 
At 3:25 PM, Anonymous P. Campbell said...

Clearly Teddy Kennedy's buoyancy
makes him the better choice.

 
At 6:41 PM, Blogger True Blue said...

It has come to my attention that one of my advertisers is featuring a sexist advertisement that is demeaning to womyn. Please do not patronize these people and I am going to talk to my technical staff (Rainbo actually) when she returns from the Ojai Crysal Festival this weekend. All of our advertisers were supposed to be eco-friendly, products of empowerment, so I'm not sure what happened.

 
At 7:15 PM, Blogger Gyrobo said...

It's a tough call. On one hand, you say that the advertisement is demeaning. On the other hand, advertisements like that MAY be protected as free speech. Do you choose community harmony... or censorship?

 
At 7:43 PM, Blogger True Blue said...

It's not a tough call. As any liberal knows, 100% free speech does not apply to anything demeaning. Look at speech codes on college campuses, they are the perfect example.

Everyone knows that liberal administrations protect free speech yet at the same time they ban (and rightly so) phrases like "girlfriend" as being heteronormative and thus offensive.

See it's not a tough call after all!

 
At 9:14 PM, Anonymous WildCard said...

He's a piece of trash.

 
At 9:17 PM, Anonymous WildCard said...

oh and btw "free speech" means everything like me calling you a liberal terrorist.

which in fact you are.... if europe is so fucking good then go there you jackass..... goddamnit !!!!

 
At 9:31 PM, Anonymous Danzig Mother****er said...

HAHAHAH ... "his good looks have earned him (something stupid) of hungary and starving people"

WTF ??? Are you serious. if i was hungary and starving, the last thing i would want to see is this pompus ass parading around like some movie star/calvin klein model.

That is the stupidest thing i have ever heard, and believe me i have heard some stupid shit.

i would have tried to beat him with a severed leg from another victim.

asshole.

 
At 9:35 PM, Anonymous WildCard said...

damn true blue is prolly still at her support group. damn. that means we'll have to wait a while for more stupid horse shit to come out of her keyboard regarding the way she and her stupid asshole icons think we should live our lives.

I mean its not like we can think for ourselves or anything... god forbid that should happen.

 
At 9:43 PM, Blogger True Blue said...

Of course the Katrina victims need food, water and shelter. But wouldn't it be so much better if it also came from a man with such a disarming smile?

Edwards stunning looks have no impact on me as I don't think that physical appearance should have any effect on anyone. It bothers me when sizists, ageists, and others are in charge of things like casting movies, hiring models, etc. as they put such focus on apprearance when picking the next cover model. Talk about bias!

But since not all of the victims are as progressive as me and therefore might be influenced by Edwards movie star smile and strong physique, then the fact that he is a heartthrob would be a benefit to the people in need.

The idea that you don't think so shows how little you really care about the hurricane victims.

 
At 9:50 PM, Anonymous WildCard said...

when i lived in missouri and some friends who lived in oklahoma had their house anhiliated by an f5 tornado i didn't see any of these assholes coming to help them with food and water and all that crap. took almost a week to clear out the bodies and this was only a localized 30 mile area... so don't you tell me about not caring

Shows how much the media plays into how much the nation gives a shit and the aid provided.

 
At 10:11 PM, Blogger True Blue said...

I feel for your friends and will burn a scented candle for them. The government needs to spend 10x on disaster preparation and 10x more to compensate victims of natural disasters. That is government's role.

 
At 10:37 PM, Anonymous WildCard said...

no that is the role of the citizens who care about the community.

We can't go crying to the government everytime something goes wrong. thats what gives them the power over us.

 
At 8:05 AM, Blogger True Blue said...

If we raise taxes enough on the rich, the government will be able to anticipate and solve the problems before we have to "go crying to them" as you say.

 
At 10:16 AM, Blogger Pat in NC said...

You have got to be kidding! He was worthless for NC and would be worthless for the nation. Pretty and rich does not equate with being a good leader.

 
At 11:11 AM, Anonymous Irish John said...

Trueblue
You are so right!

I want to add two more reasons to this great list.

According to John Edwards, we all know if we had elected John Kerry, people like Christopher Reeves would have got up and walked... these powers would be great in New Orleans, as it would probably mean that people could walk on water.

Also, we have all heard of his amazing powers in the court room of hearing little girls from beyond the grave talking to him. This would be very helpful finding people still trapped. After all, if he can hear people from beyond the grave, trapped survivors should be easy.

 
At 12:39 PM, Blogger True Blue said...

I initially thought you were serious but having re-read it a couple of times I'm not so sure. I just think that I was taken back that John Edwards could actually be criticized! How many lives would have been saved, how much property damage would be avoided, how many litigants would there be signed up if Bush had picked Edwards out of the box.

 
At 12:43 PM, Blogger True Blue said...

No I'm not joking. I don't kid around on things like life, death, deep pocket liability, asbestos claims, venue shopping, Vioxx, etc.

 
At 3:13 PM, Blogger Mr Minority said...

To think that you would want the Breck Boy John "I'm in Love With Myself" Edwards to head up the disaster relief in New Orleans, is like having Saddam Hussien head up an anti-Terror group. Edwards would do it only if he could find a way to enrich himself, because he is your typical greedy Liberal Lawyer that doesn't really care about anyone else except, John Edwards.

Mr Minority

 
At 5:47 PM, Blogger True Blue said...

Sure Edwards likes to make money but in his profession he makes it when his clients WIN! It'd be the same thing here. Only if he successfully helped the survivors and victims would he be entitled to charge multi-million dollar fees for his services. Seems like a win-win to me.

 
At 9:02 PM, Anonymous WildCard said...

we should pay him multi-millions of dollars if he can save people lives? we hardly pay emts shit and they save peoples live everyday. WTF is wrong with you people .. think for once in your lives.

 
At 9:25 PM, Blogger True Blue said...

If Edwards is successful why wouldn't he get a success fee commensurate with what he gets in private practice for helping those poor Vioxx people or whoever it was that he helped?

EMT's make money whether or not the people they are helping pull through. Big difference, don't you agree?

 
At 10:47 PM, Anonymous WildCard said...

no.

 
At 5:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't mind John Edwards making appeareance money by helping the relief efforts in NO.

It is the American way, and as soon as we get an equitable tax system, where everyone can get a living allowance from the government, the sooner we can tax the rich into giving their fair share.

As it is, me and my five children can barely come out on the welfare - after buying the booze for the week, there's hardly enough left for Twinkies for the children for the week.

 
At 6:49 PM, Blogger True Blue said...

It is a sad state of affairs that our tax breaks to the rich syndrome has allowed 50% of this country's citizens to be below the mean income level. Who's below the mean you ask? Poor people! There isn't a single poor person in the top income quartile, not one! Tells you something doesn't it!

Unfair and biased!

 
At 1:11 PM, Blogger Bitch On Wheels said...

3. Fluency: Can talk to people in the South.

Hee hee hee hee hee
You crack me up, Blue!

 

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