Monday, August 22, 2005

Dan Rather Where Are You?

Blue Flypaper is calling Dan Rather to come back to network news. The day you left, CBS started just reporting the news and stopped interpreting the news. Dan you got to the bottom of Bush's military record and you were part of the team that nailed General Westmoreland. We need this type of reporting now more than ever!

Losing Mary Mapes was also a blow. No one could rush a story through the system like her. Her "gut instinct" did what other producers required fact checkers to do. As a team, you both understood that you don't sit around and wait for news to happen, losers do that. No if you want a story bad enough, you go out and make the story.

Dan, you would be so perfect as an embedded reporter at Camp Casey. Without you we are hardly hearing anything about Cindy Sheehan. This poor woman is suffering from obscurity and that isn't right. And it isn't just her. Did you know that Joan Baez sang at Camp Casey? This was basically a USO show for anti-war zealots and it was practically ignored.

Think about it, Joan Baez is one of today's hottest and most relevant talents and she does a rare, exclusive show and no one seems to care.

Dan, I'd say that over 90% of the TV viewing audience wants and needs you back and Blue Flypaper is going to start a letter writing campaign to the other 10% to show them how wrong they are. We'll do that by writing to the blogs that spread lies and talk poorly about you. If they fail to heed our warnings, we are going to put them on the Blueflypaper Black List, which will effectively shut them down.

Here is a copy of the first email which is going to Rathergate. (What a hateful name!).

Dear Rathergate:

You are very mean people. But you already know that. What you are doing goes beyond mean and is in fact inappropriate. There are so many wrong things about you that I could fill up a blog (heck, maybe I just will some day!) but for now I'll list a few of the issues I have with you and then my demands.

1. You use Dan Rather's name even though you are not related to him. I see from your website that your names are "Kevin" and "Mike". How would you like it if I created a website called "Kevingate" or "Mikegate," not so funny is it?

2. You act as though those stupid Killian documents have been proven to be falsified. Nothing has ever been proven on those and if they were good enough for Dan Rather they should be good enough for you.

3. Speaking of good enough, nothing Dan does seems to be good enough for you. If Rush Limbaugh signed off with the word "courage," you'd say brilliant. When Dan Rather does it you say "hackneyed." If George Bush were to walk off camera and leave 6 minutes of dead air you'd call it "assertive", when Rather does it you call him a "self-righteous cry baby".

4. You kick people when they are down. Dan inherited a newscast that was in first place when he took over and 3rd when he retired. Do you give him any slack for that? No sireee!

Okay, our demand. If you do not shut down your blog, plus issue an immediate apology to Dan Rather and all of his fans for all of the hateful things that Rathergate has written, then we will have no choice but to put you on the Blue Flypaper Black List. I'm sorry it has come to this.

Sincerely,

Blue Flypaper

++++++++++++++

Rathergate is not alone in the not-nice-to-Dan category. Independent Sources has a story called "Independent Sources would Rather Dan Worked for Us" where they purport to offer the down and out Dan a job. (Not nice!), W.C. Varones has a generally negative tone about CBS, The Bennelli Brothers has an inappropriate drawing of Dan, and there are many others out there. You should all watch out because we'll track you down!

14 Comments:

At 2:46 PM, Blogger Thunderstixmil said...

Oh, ouch. Go get em blue flypaper you are really on top of this and you should be commended

 
At 12:08 PM, Anonymous fatman said...

With any kind of luck ol' Dan is sitting in some West Texas honky tonk, bragging about how he used to be a big time newscaster and getting sloshed, while the regulars throw peanuts at him.

 
At 4:28 PM, Blogger True Blue said...

Morrow, Cronkite, Rather, those were the greats.

 
At 4:47 PM, Blogger Brad said...

Your'e right TB, those three helped to change the world from the disaster it used to be to the paradise we all enjoy today, and Cronkite helped to launch ten thousand boats!

 
At 5:52 PM, Anonymous fatman said...

Are you kidding? Those three stooges couldn't carry Ted Baxter's jock strap.

 
At 8:25 PM, Blogger True Blue said...

On the inside, I detect some sarcasm. However, I think you guys have the potential to be good liberals. I just need to get you away from hateful, obstructionist conservatives that are keeping you in the Dark Side.

 
At 10:11 PM, Anonymous WildCard said...

"Shut down your blog that might actually contain some factual information that might educate people on political or social issues that might actually affect people of the lower class who don't have untold millions like the rich liberal democrats" is really what you should be saying when you threaten to add sites to your blacklist. show me a liberal democrat who is not a wealthy lawyer, executive, celebrity, etc. and i might take you halfway seriously.

BTW i am not a Republican either. I am a constitutionalist, one who believes the constitution is the supreme law of the United States and all other laws should be abolished on grounds they are unconstitutional.

 
At 10:34 PM, Blogger True Blue said...

There are lot's of rich liberal Democrats that do not fit your stereotypical description.

Here are two examples rock bands and union bosses. Both of these are very wealthy and very liberal.

 
At 7:07 PM, Anonymous WildCard said...

show me a liberal democrat who is not a wealthy lawyer, executive, celebrity, etc.

So you can't read either ? last time i checked rock stars are celebritys and a union boss would be a combination of lawyer and executive, and that little thing there, that means etcetera (as in other things that would be related in context)

 
At 9:27 PM, Blogger True Blue said...

Michael Moore. Wealthy and liberal. Yes, he's a celebrity but only because he's so great.

 
At 9:45 PM, Anonymous WildCard said...

show me a liberal democrat who is not a wealthy lawyer, executive, celebrity, etc.

You still haven't given me a example.

You act as though wealth is something to be admired. I think money is disgusting and evil. Those who seek wealth and power should be stripped naked and thrown into a swimming pool full of wolverines.

 
At 7:47 AM, Blogger True Blue said...

The problem with money is that it leads to "haves" and "have nots." If the haves would just give a chunk of what they have to the have nots then everyone would be haves. That's the way it used to work before these horribly twisted Western values were forced on our society by white males.

 
At 9:07 PM, Anonymous WildCard said...

You say this but i don't see your wortheless asshole liberal leaders living at the poverty level. if they gave a shit about the people they are supposed to be helping they wouldn't be worried about all their millions of goddamn dollars.

 
At 9:35 PM, Blogger True Blue said...

Their wealth gives them to the opportunity to focus on being great liberals. Instead of having to work like the rest of us they are able to go out and really help, entertain or lead people. Seems like a win-win to me. Plus, to be a great liberal leader you need an entourage and those don't come cheap. All of the money they spend is more for our benefit than theirs.

 

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