Thursday, September 22, 2005

You can tell a lot about a person by the car they drive!

Okay, it's not blue, but it's red hot. I love this car and think that you can learn a lot about people from the cars they drive.

From looking at my car you can see that I am:
  • Frugal
  • Socially conscious
  • Not flashy
  • Environmentally friendly
I bought the car from a guy who worked at the tea boutique in the co-op for a month. Supposedly he bought it from a guy in Berkeley and claims that it has true "hippy" cred and was used to shuttle Huey Newton around or something. Awesome.

Anyway, this guy tells he never wants to sell his car then his dad threatens him that he's going to disown him or something if he doesn't go into the military (nice father!). Anyway, the dude isn't going to need a car if he's going off to foriegn lands to kill people so he sells me his car (including a bunch of Country Joe McDonald 8-tracks though I could never figure out how to use the damn player and couldn't even find the eject so I just let it play over and over at really low volume).

I've been meaning to get my beloved car painted but need to verify that the paint they use won't contain any lead.

I can tell by the people who stop and stare when I drive by that people recognize it for the classic that it is and by pointing at me they're essentially saying "right on sister."

I've been trying to decide what bumper sticker to put on it. I still have my Kerry/Edwards sticker on it and wear that like a badge of honor. But Serge told me that I needed one on the other side to balance out my Chi. I was thinking "Friends Don't Let Friends Vote Republican" but I thought I might do something totally unique like "Question Authority."

h/t: BitchonWheels2005

Bring Prosperity to the World T-Shirt at a Time!



At 2:57 AM, Blogger fatman said...

Uh, True Blue, honey, I hate to be the one to burst your bubble, but the reason Volkswagon discontnued the Beetle is because they would have had to completely re-design it to meet federal safety and emission standards. (They ended up doing that twenty-five years later anyway, but that's another discussion.) My Expedition is more enviromentally friendly than that thing. And safer, too.

Having said that, I will admit they are fun cars, if all you're going to do is drive them. The gear shift gets in the way of anything more, um, interesting on the front seat. And only a midget couple could put the back seat to use for its REAL purpose. (Leers lasciviously:)

At 6:21 AM, Blogger Tom said...

Something else one might learn: The owner is blind...or at least color blind.


At 8:13 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

fatman, it's got those straps behind the front seats that are just perfect as gynae stirrups.

Also the car was designed on the orders of Hitler - seems strange that Blue would drive it.

At 11:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thats one sweet car. I drive a 78 buick.

At 11:46 AM, Blogger fatman said...

Now you've done it, anonymous. You've left me no choice but to invoke Godwin's Law.

That's it, folks. Thread's closed. Party's over. Show's finished. Nothing to see here. Move along. Move along.

(I'll just stick around to console True Blue in her grief at finding out the truth about her car;)

At 12:07 PM, Blogger True Blue said...

Well fatman I wonder how many seals were killed so you can drive your Expedition? I can't imagine my car pollutes much as the engine is so small. I also don't drive it much and carpool whenever possible. As for safety, sure your's is safer..for you! But not for everyone else on the road who must buy similarly monstrosities to be same. It becomes a gas-guzzling arms race. My dream car is a Karma Ghia but haven't been able to find one I like in a long time.

At 5:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are you sure they're not pointing at you, laughing? Seems more realistic than seeing it as a "classic".

Or perhaps it could be the Nazi-mobile stigma it has since Hitler is the one who designed the monstrosity.

If, as your title suggests, we can tell a lot about a person by the car they drive, then you should be ashamed of yourself.

At 11:16 PM, Blogger fatman said...

True Blue, I solemnly swear to you that no seals were killed in the manufacturing, assembly or shipping of my Expedition. (My new baby harp seal skin winter coat is another matter, however.)

BTW, that's *Kharmen Ghia*, not *Karma Gia*.

At 8:16 PM, Blogger Gyrobo said...

Seriously, how often do you find paint with lead in it?

At 9:06 PM, Blogger True Blue said...

Not just lead, but the other pollutants. Any eco-friendly suggestions are encouraged.

At 2:41 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

BlueBabe, you don't seem to understand a little basic science - at least, regarding automobile engine emissions or safety requirements.

Then again, I shouldn't be too hard on you: liberal arts degrees are for people who think that Science is something they do in Star Trek movies, right?

Your choice of automobiles, based on science, tells us that you:

* are ignorant of just how incredibly polluting small engines are, when they are operated without electronic fuel injection, emissions sensors with continual adjustment loops, or modern three-way catalytic converters (you know, that whole carbon monoxide, hydrocarbon, and oxides of nitrogen thingy);

* have no problem at all with wasting gasoline, a precious non-replenishable fossil-fuel resource;

* identify yourself with an automobile commissioned by the world's most horrible, despotic dictator (Adolf Hitler);

* have no regard for the safety of your passengers (see fatman's comments regarding crash protection redesign of the Beetle after 1978); and

* you value "cuteness" in an automobile more than efficiency, safety, or any other virtue espoused by your so-called "liberal" friends.


(so are you gonna spank her, fatman, or shall I...?)


At 7:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My car has seal skin seats, and the hood ornament is the stuffed head of a spotted owl.

My dog has a website now, it is just being set up:

I feed him endangered animals such as the Delmarva Peninsula fox squirrel, and the squirrel monkey. I think endangered animals are the best because they spend all their time running from human hunters, thus they have more omega-3 fat just like game and free range meat.

At 8:34 AM, Blogger fatman said...

wanderlust said:

(so are you gonna spank her, fatman, or shall I...?)

You spank her, wanderlust. I'll stick around afterwards to console her. (And to kiss her and make it feel better;)

At 7:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok, fatman, you have a deal.

BlueBabe, for crimes against common sense, logic, AND the environment (for driving a car that has NO modern emissions controls, causing it to belch out over 95 TIMES more pollution than a modern Toyota Prius Hybrid):

I sentence you to 10 spanks, over the knee.


/laughing maniacally


At 12:19 PM, Blogger Bitch On Wheels said...

Don't let them get to you Blue - I dig it. I always wanted a '71 Beetle so it would be the same age as me... never happened though. My car's actually blue in color (and made by our friends the Japanese), do I get points for that?

At 2:13 PM, Blogger fatman said...

No, no, no, bitch on wheels, you misunderstand completely. wanderlust and I aren't harrassing True Blue; we're trying to help.

Running around Topanga Canyon in that little smoke-belching coffin-on-wheels is bound to foster all kinds of bad chi, not to mention the risk of her and anyone with her getting flattened by a semi.

Now I realize that our tactics may seem scandalous to you, but I've learned that you sometimes have to use strong, even shocking measures when you're doing an intervention.

At 2:21 PM, Blogger fatman said...

Btw, I have a friend who epitomizes the motto, "Live to Ride, Ride to Live." His take on Japanese wheels: "Friends don't let friends drive rice machines."

At 10:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah, what fatman said...

Keep in mind this statistic regarding the power of the modern three-way catalytic converter (from back in the early 1990's): a standard 3.5HP lawnmower emits more pollutants per hour than an automobile w/4cyl engine would if driven 185 miles.

BlueBabe's cutesy VW has essentially a huge lawnmower engine (1600cc), with no catalytic converter.

And it's a rolling deathtrap.

If she were my daughter, having made that choice, she'd be over my knee, and her bottom would be red.

Bad, bad BlueBabe...


At 10:39 PM, Blogger True Blue said...


For those of you who didn't know, Bitch On Wheels did a 5k walk and raised money for Breast Cancer. This is very cool. I had to temp in the candle shoppe that morning but was there in spirit. I also brought green tea to her and my other friends who did the walk.

As for the cracks about my car. It has been in existence for 24 years. Think of all of the landfill that has been saved by the fact that it still runs. I know that the American Consumption model depends on planned obsolescence so that more things must be bought, more workers must be exploited, more-more-more, but sometimes sticking with something for a long time is better for all. Better chi too.

At 12:32 AM, Blogger fatman said...

Now just a pea-picking minute!

True Blue said, "As for the cracks about my car. It has been in existence for 24 years."

Volkswagon stopped U.S. production of the original Beetle in 1977 because of emission and safety issues. Yet if True Blue's car is only 24 years old, that makes it a 1981 model. Which means it was manufactured and sold in another country (probably Mexico). Which means, according to this news story at

that it doesn't meet U.S. emission and safety standards. Which means that it's illegal to import it into this country, even as a collectors item. And we ALL know what that means:

True Blue's car is an illegal alien!

True Blue, you've GOT to get rid of that car. Take it back to Mexico and find a good home for it. Take it out into the desert and leave it at an ancient Indian burial ground. Do something with it before Immigration & Customs Enforcement finds out and you end up blogging from a cell in the womens'-excuse me, womyns' section at Leavenworth.

If you get really desperate, let me know. I know a guy who has a friend who's second cousin works for a fellow who runs a chop shop. He'll make that car disappear, no questions asked. Just call me.


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